I am in the living room of Susan's house in Auburn, which has no furniture but instead has a garden running the length of the east side of the room. The garden is planted mostly to flowers and broccoli and most of the broccoli is starting to flower. Susan is preparing to go on a trip. I notice that the soil in the garden is dry so I ask her if she wants me to water it before we go but she does not answer. I wonder how garden manages to grow with light coming only from the big window on the south wall.

As we are packing up the van in the driveway I wonder about the sleeping arrangements for me so we come back inside through the front door to get my sleeping bag and pad. My pad, leaning against the wall by the steps up to the living room, is just a thin orange tarp. My old magenta down sleeping bag is hanging from a rack nearby. When I see it I remember that due my disability caused by ALS I cannot use the sleeping bag, and that with no way to sleep, I cannot go on this trip.

The trip together symbolizes my marriage to Susan. The garden symbolizes our sex life, which was good. My association with broccoli is a climb up Mount Rainier on which I became very tired during the hike up to Camp Muir because I eaten nothing but broccoli all day. I had harvested a bunch of broccoli from my garden because I was afraid it would go to flower while I was on the climb. In the dream, the broccoli, the dry soil and the limited light indoors all suggest that our sex life was not sufficient to sustain our relationship. The magenta down bag was the sleeping bag I used on backpacking trips during college and while working on the peregrine project; it represents acting on my own behalf in pursuit of what I love, something I was not doing when I entered into my marriage with Susan. My realization that ALS would prevent me from using the sleeping bag on the trip reflects the role that ALS played in triggering my separation from Susan.