Brian's Journal - A Dream Return

Swimming with a salmon (06/01/2022)
The dream:
Unfortunately when I woke up during the night with this dream fresh in my mind there were portions of it, including the beginning and also a connecting segment between the two main scenes, which I did not fix in memory so I could not remember them this morning. I am not even certain that the second scene is part of the same dream, but I believe it is.
I am swimming in a river, in a deep pool enclosed by large boulders, and the current is strong enough to push me around. I am not alone but I do not recall who is with me. There are fish in the pool and I swim up to a salmon hanging about a foot under the surface. It does not move away from me so I put my hand underneath it and lift it up out of the water into the air, perhaps showing it to the person who was with me. I consider keeping the salmon to eat it but do not want to kill it and clean it. The salmon in my hand becomes a Spotted Boxfish like the ones we saw in Hawaii, about 8 inches long and brown with pale spots, which puzzles me because I had thought it was a salmon. Above me, suspended in the air under a small stream of water, is the salmon, and I still have the boxfish in my hand.
Again I am swimming in the deep pool but now the water is clear whereas before it had been turbulent and turbid, though still clean. I think I come up out of the water and I again have the boxfish, although I am not sure about that.
Together with a small group of people I enter a large room like an exhibition hall with other people in it. A woman in the group of people with me starts to run and I run with her. When we get into the exhibition hall, I challenge her to race me to the far end of the hall but my intention is more to flirt with her than to compete with her. She is interested in me too, and I feel good about that.
Darchelle's father Richard is standing behind a table with several other people. They are selling something, I do not recall what, and I ask him how it is going. He tells me that he has not sold anything so far.
My interpretation:
Although I could not remember portions of this dream and some of the details, some of the symbols are familiar from earlier dreams and together they suggest a meaning. But first, some associations.
Both the salmon and the boxfish I associate with my life with Susan, and in particular with our evolution away from strict conservative Adventism. Eating salmon and vacationing in Hawaii, where we saw boxfish while snorkeling, were elements of that evolution. I associate swimming with taking an active role in my life; when open-water swimming as in rivers and lakes, you can choose to go wherever you want without external constraints other than your own fear. The turbid and turbulent water in the river may represent my confusion about exercising that agency in my life when I was with Susan.
Running with the woman appears to be a clear reference to Darchelle. The exhibition hall reminds me of marathon expos. Richard's presence further indicates that the second scene refers to my relationship with Darchelle.
The salmon which becomes a brown boxfish in my hand reminds me of a recent dream about fishing in which I am fishing for trout but catch brown rockfish instead. That dream appears to be looking at my evolution away from perfectionism and idealism towards a more pragmatic and accepting view of myself and my life. Perhaps this dream is considering the same idea. In marrying Susan I was both forsaking my ideals (seeking a salmon, getting a boxfish) but still clinging to the possibility of perfection - growing up, becoming "good". My analysis of this dream explores the idea in more depth. Towards the end of my marriage to Susan I outgrew that need for perfection along with its associated guilt of failure, representing perhaps in this dream by the water becoming clear. When I gained a clear idea of who I am and what I wanted, I chose Darchelle.