Brian's Journal - A Dream Return

A stinky dead dog (04/10/2021)
The dream:
I am standing on the right-hand side of the road trying to get on my bicycle but each time I put my left foot on the pedal and try to swing my right leg over the seat I start to lose my balance. After five or six tries I finally succeed but am still off-balance so end up swerving across the road to the other side. Fortunately I make it across without being hit by any passing cars.
Continuing on my bike I start up a long hill, still riding on the wrong side of the road. Part way up I pass a house. Outside the house a man is inspecting a dead dog at the base of the brick chimney while inside the house a woman is weeping. It was a small dog with long hair but now it is a blackened carcass with just bones and hair left. The woman wants the man to bring the dog inside but the man tells her that it smells very bad and will stink up the house.
Two cars approaching from opposite directions are about to pass me at the same time but the road is narrow so the oncoming car stops to let the other one pass. I feel bad that the car has to stop for me so I veer off the shoulder into the ditch, then have to dismount the bike in order to get back onto the road. The hill is quite steep so I just continue walking my bike up the road.
I enter a house, perhaps at the top of the hill, and find Susan in one of the two rooms. It is apparently an AirB&B and I am surprised to see her there because I thought she was only staying one night. I ask her about it and she explains that she was staying for a while. I assume that she is staying there for work, perhaps for the marathon.
My interpretation:
Riding the bicycle represents progression through some period of my life. My difficulty getting onto the bicycle and the uphill road I ride identify that period as the past eight years in which I have been increasingly disabled by ALS. Feeling bad about getting in the way of the oncoming car reflects my discomfort with the impact of my disability on people around me whom I have to ask for help.
Informed by previous dreams over the last several years, I identify the dead dog as a symbol of God. The dog is dead because I have rejected the concept of God as a personal authority figure in my life; I in effect killed God. The weeping woman inside the house personifies both my sadness over losing that internal parent figure and my resulting desire to reincorporate God into my life, something I have been considering at times over the past few months. The man outside the house attending to the carcass represents that ongoing interest in the idea of God but also my recognition that hosting that internal authoritarian parent was not healthy.
The meaning of the scene with Susan is unclear.