I am at the airport, standing at a checkpoint waiting to ascend the stairs into the gate area. The
official behind the desk has my suitcase, a black hardshell with four roller wheels, but when I
looked behind the desk to retrieve it, it is missing, replaced by a black soft case with wide
straps. Thinking my bag may have been taken upstairs into the gate area, I go up but although there
are numerous knapsacks on the floor awaiting pickup, my suitcase is not among them. I look for my
carry-on packs and find the smaller one then realize that my other pack is still on my back.
Now I am in a neonatal hospital unit where everything is pink - the walls, the furniture, the
cubicles and the lighting. It seems odd to me that this neonatal unit would be in the airport. The
unit appears empty except for a woman with wavy blonde hair hanging down around her round face. I
recognize her, having seen her previously in the same neonatal unit. I greet her but when I remind
her that we have met here before, she begins to cry. I realize that she is crying because she
believes herself to be stuck in that area but I do not attempt to talk to her about it.
Instead I go out into the main corridor then I think for the first time to look at my ticket to find
out which gate my flight will be leaving from. It is gate 20 and my flight leaves at 8:30 PM, about
25 minutes from now. Signs at a kiosk direct me down the corridor to the left for gates 15 to 20. I
walk down the corridor past gates 15 through 18, but there are no gates beyond 18. Puzzled, I ask
someone where gate 20 is and they tell me it is at the far end of the airport. I look at my watch
to see if I have time to get there and it is 8:45 PM. I have already missed the flight. I wake up
wondering if my suitcase made it onto the flight, but not particularly worried that I did not.
A key to understanding this dream is a comment by Dr Elliott at the ALS clinic last February. When
I asked him how much longer I had to live he replied that my flight wasn't ready to lift off the
runway yet. The flight leaving from gate 20 represents my death in 2020, which seemed probable a
couple of years ago but now looks unlikely. Ever since I was diagnosed with ALS back in 2013 I have
assumed that I had about two years to live - gates 15 to 18 in the dream represent my annual
extension of that assumed life span since then.
The misplaced suitcase probably represents the activities and abilities I have lost due to ALS. I
have not lost everything; I still have my knapsack and small carry-on item. The pink neonatal
hospital unit and woman in it are more puzzling, out of place as they are in the airport. I think
the color pink is a reference to the bedroom Susan and I shared during most of our 30 years of
marriage. Susan still lives in that house and in the dream, is not without grief.