Brian's Journal - A Dream Return

Hosting Mike Adair (4/24/2020)
Darchelle and I are lying in a big bed in the room in the house in Jackson which used to be my parents' room when I was young. She is reading but I lean over to her and begin kissing her lower back right above the hem of her flowery underwear. We would make love but suddenly Mike Adair appears in the doorway. He is wearing a brown suit. I had forgotten that he was coming but I get up to show him to his room. He seems unsure of himself and I am surprised to realize that I have as much or more self-confidence than he does. We walk into a new addition to the house in place of Mom and John's current bedroom, office and greenhouse. It is a large room painted entirely in white with a bathroom and shower, also white, in one corner. The room has a shiny appearance everywhere as if it is made of white porcelain.
Mike Adair seemed to be perhaps the most self-confident person I had ever met when I worked with him at Microsoft and Expedia but he died in 2016 after suffering for several years with complications from a severe stroke. In this dream I think he represents death, and illustrates how death equalizes the living. No matter what we are in life, in death we are all dead. The ceramic quality of the room for Mike suggests the permanence of death and perhaps also our loss of agency with regard to dying. We can't choose not to die. The bed Darchelle and I are lying in is my parents' bed. Just as my father left my mother when I was a child, so I will leave Darchelle through death, symbolized by Mike Adair interrupting our potential lovemaking. But I am still living, and still with Darchelle whom I love.