Brian's Journal - A Dream

Returning to the office (3/14/2019)
I am walking through an office park or corporate campus. I pass an office supply store but looking in through the windows, I see only hanging file folders, mostly blue and green, and no other office supplies. Entering one of the buildings, I walk up three flights of stairs and pause, but I think my office is on the fourth floor so I continue on up. It has been quite a while since I have come in to the office and as I walked down the hall, I realize I'm not sure which door is my office. I feel awkward and out of place, expecting that people will think that I do not belong here. I recognize some of the voices in the first office on my left but do not go in to greet them. Continuing down the hall I open the door to what I think is my office but I do not recognize the furniture. Mike A comes out of the next office and welcomes me warmly, grabbing a couple of chairs from his office so we can sit down in the hallway and visit. I consider explaining to him that I have only six months or a year left to live but I am not sure of my motives for telling him that. Perhaps I only want to shock him or to get his sympathy, so I do not speak of my death. John F then walks down the hall to us, pulls up another chair and sits down next to me. I feel grateful to both Mike and John for welcoming and accepting me.
The closing scene reminds me of the transfiguration of Christ. Mike was a brilliant programmer and powerful personality who managed me at Microsoft and hired me at Expedia. A few years after that he retired wealthy, divorced his fundamentalist wife and married the love of his life. After only a few years of married bliss he suffered a severe stroke and endured a difficult partial recovery which bankrupted him and his family before he died in 2016. In my dream, he stands in the place of Moses who represents the saved who die before Jesus returns and are resurrected at his coming. John, a close high school friend who with his wife created a career for himself as director of a puppet theater company, stands in the place of Elijah was translated and taken to heaven without dying. In the Transfiguration, Moses and Elijah were sent from heaven to comfort and encourage Christ before his death. In my dream, Mike and John receive and comfort me, and at the same time represent aspects of who I have become at this point in my life. Like them, I have taken charge of my own life and I have done well. I have become the Jesus that for so many years was external to me - not the divine Christ of God or the savior of anyone other than myself, but a man who chooses love and who is loved, and who does the best he can with what he has.
I cannot go back to work. In the dream I do not find my office. I cannot recover what I have lost but what I have is still enough.